The Necessity of Self Love

The brilliant Maria Popova, whose infinitely generous newsletter BrainPickings is one of my most treasured weekly gifts, has devoted her most recent offering to the primary necessity – if we want to move in the world as loving people – of self love. Here, she introduces the poem “The TrueLove” by Irish poet David Whyte:

That difficult, delicate, triumphal pivot from self-limitation to self-liberation in the most vulnerable-making of human undertakings — love — is what poet and philosopher David Whyte, who thinks deeply about these questions of courage and love, maps out in his stunning poem “The Truelove,” found in his book The Sea in You: Twenty Poems of Requited and Unrequited Love (public library) and read here, by David’s kind assent to my invitation, in his sonorous Irish-tinted English voice, in his singular style of echoing lines to let them reverberate more richly:

THE TRUELOVE
by David Whyte

There is a faith in loving fiercely
the one who is rightfully yours,
especially if you have
waited years and especially
if part of you never believed
you could deserve this
loved and beckoning hand
held out to you this way.

I am thinking of faith now
and the testaments of loneliness
and what we feel we are
worthy of in this world.

Years ago in the Hebrides,
I remember an old man
who walked every morning
on the grey stones
to the shore of baying seals,
who would press his hat
to his chest in the blustering
salt wind and say his prayer
to the turbulent Jesus
hidden in the water,

and I think of the story
of the storm and everyone
waking and seeing
the distant
yet familiar figure
far across the water
calling to them

and how we are all
preparing for that
abrupt waking,
and that calling,
and that moment
we have to say yes,
except it will
not come so grandly
so Biblically
but more subtly
and intimately in the face
of the one you know
you have to love

so that when
we finally step out of the boat
toward them, we find
everything holds
us, and everything confirms
our courage, and if you wanted
to drown you could,
but you don’t
because finally
after all this struggle
and all these years
you simply don’t want to
any more
you’ve simply had enough
of drowning
and you want to live and you
want to love and you will
walk across any territory
and any darkness
however fluid and however
dangerous to take the
one hand you know
belongs in yours.

The Sea in You: Twenty Poems of Requited and Unrequited Love
by David Whyte

“The Truelove” appears in the short, splendid course of poem-anchored contemplative practices David guides for neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris’s Waking Up meditation toolkit, in which he reads each poem, offers an intimate tour of the landscape of experience from which it arose, and reflects on the broader existential quickenings it invites.
– Marie Popova

Listen to David Whyte read “The TrueLove”

See more on Brainpickings

Writing the Collect, and Resources for Further Practice

Thank you to those of you who joined me today to experiment with the ancient prayer form known as the collect. And thank you for forming such a beautiful community of practice. I will miss you during these months I am away and look forward to reconnecting in the fall.

Pádraig Ó Tuama’s video that introduced us to the collect practice is embedded below, or you can access it on YouTube here. You can hear an interview between Krista Tippett and Pádraig on how “Belonging Creates and Undoes Us” on the On Being podcast, available here. And you can learn more about his latest projects on his website.

 

Some of you asked for resources to help establish or maintain a practice. Over time, consistency is more important that duration, and especially if you are somewhat new to practice, I highly recommend Mindfulness Daily a 40-day free course of 15-minute segments offered by Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach. In fact, it’s a gem for all of us, no matter what level of experience, and the episodes bear returning to time and again.

If you are experiencing chronic pain, the usefulness of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) has been well vetted in the medical community. Many hospitals and wellness centers offer courses. Jon Kabat-Zinn is the godfather of the form, and his book Full Catastrophe Living is a good introduction, and you can supplement it with some of the many meditations he offers on YouTube. There are also many in-depth online courses available. Some initial scouting indicates that they generally run about $200 for an 8-week course. I can’t personally vouch for any particular offering. SoundsTrue out of Boulder, Colorado is highly reputable in its offerings for spiritual training and meditation and provides the interface for much of Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach’s online teaching. They have several offerings for MBSR.

There are also innumerable meditation apps available. Insight Timer is probably the most well known and offers a simple timer to use on your own, all sorts of guided meditations, and the option to join an online community.

Peace be with you all, and I’ll be back in touch in the fall!

With love, Teresa

Midweek Pause, Wednesday, May 19

I hope you can join me for the Midweek Pause, which will be our last for a while as I am heading to Denver soon to begin an internship with the Chaplains Service for the University of Colorado Hospital.

I have something I’m excited to share with you, a meditative writing practice called the Collect. The collect (pronounced COLL-ect) is a short, five-line prayer form that dates back to the Middle Ages.

I’ve just said two things that that I fear may scare you away. First, about the writing practice: we will be using a simple and accessible form, and you need have no writing experience whatsoever to participate. You will have a chance to share, but no one needs to. This can be a very private practice.

Second, about the prayer part: I know that some of you find great solace in religion and others have been bruised by it. Prayer can be deeply religious and it can also be secular, a way to voice one’s hopes for the world. As the brilliant Irish poet, theologian and peace activist Pádraig Ó Tuama has said, there are days he is not sure that he believes in God, but he never doubts that he believes in prayer.

I will let Pádraig Ó Tuama introduce the form through a delightful video and then we will write our own collects. There will be a natural exit point at 1:30 as always. If you have the time, I invite you to stay a bit longer than usual so we can write and enjoy each others’ writing at leisure (and to reiterate: there will be NO pressure to share; you can just sit back and enjoy.) We will plan to wrap up by around 2:15 and of course you can leave at any time.

I hope to see you for this beautiful practice.

What: 30 minutes learning about and writing the collect, a form of writing meditation, with additional time for writing and sharing for those who can stay. 
 
When: Wednesday, May 19, 1:00 – 2:15 pm Mountain Time.  (With break at 1:30 for those who need to leave)

Where: Zoom. To join the announcement list and receive the Zoom link, please send your name, phone number (so we know you are not a bot), and email address to MindfulnessTree@icloud.com      Be sure to add this email to your address book so the announcements don’t go to spam.

Resources for Mindfulness and Community Building with Sara Flitner

Introductory Remarks: Mindfulness and Community Building, Sara Flitner (15:09)

Open Monitoring Practice with Sara Flitner (14:59)

Sara Flitner, former mayor of Jackson Hole, Wyoming and founder of Becoming Jackson Whole, whose mission is to help the community respond to contemporary challenges with focus, compassion and resilience, joined us today to talk about mindfulness and community building and lead us in a meditation practice of open monitoring or open awareness. Please listen to her opening remarks, above, for an overview of her organization’s powerful and transformative work.

We enjoyed an in-depth discussion afterwards, all the more meaningful because many people in the Midweek Pause community of practice have years of commitment and experience in various aspects of community building through such varied efforts as the Malpais Borderlands Group, a 25-year effort led by ranchers that has spearheaded collaborations with environmentalists and local, state and Federal land managers to keep some 800,000 acres out of development in Arizona and New Mexico; the Venture Course in the Humanities, which for more than a decade has brought college-level courses in the humanities into homeless and underserved communities in order to build resilience and increase opportunity; and the Western Folklife Center, which has supported and showcased the voices of rural people for more than 30 years and done much to lessen the urban-rural divide.

We discussed the fact that mindfulness, in its capacity to help us listen to each other and make space for conflicting ideas, is a radical practice. Rae reminded us that the word radical derives from the Latin word for root.

Several people mentioned the concept of the “radical center” in collaborations across the West. Rancher Bill McDonald, the first working agriculturalist to win a MacCarthur Fellowship (and I believe still the only one) coined the term in the mid-1990s to describe an emerging consensus-based approach to Western land management challenges. In 2003, the Quivira Coalition brought together a group of 20 ranchers, environmentalists, scientists and writers to pen an “Invitation to Join the Radical Center.” You can read and accept the invitation here, and see the list of original signatories, of which I am proud to be one, here.

All this to remind us that we don’t practice mindfulness only for ourselves, but for our families, our communities, and our world.

Thank you, Sara, for joining us today. Please visit BecomingJacksonWhole to learn more about her work.

 

Midweek Pause with Special Guest Sara Flitner

I’m tremendously pleased that Sara Flitner, former mayor of Jackson Hole, Wyoming and founder of Making Jackson Whole, will be leading our group tomorrow. I am including her bio from their website so we won’t use up our time tomorrow with a lengthy introduction:
Sara has more than 20 years of experience in collaborative problem solving, organizational leadership, and authentic communication. She is a trained and certified mediator and a strong believer in the practice of mindfulness at home, in the workplace, and around the community. A native of Shell, Wyoming, graduate of University of Wyoming, and former mayor of Jackson Hole, she is passionate about and deeply connected to her home state and the wellbeing of its economy, its wildlife, and her fellow citizens.

Sara is an avid skier and yogi, an enthusiastic mountain biker, and a terrible fisher. She loves being outside with her family – husband Bill Wotkyns, sons Pete and Silas, who despite being teenagers are really great company. Hiking with friends or her dogs, reading, talking neuroscience, and anything that makes her laugh out loud are favorite activities. She is currently working on her first book on civility and compassion as building blocks for thriving communities.

What: 30 minute opening remarks and guided meditation, followed by an optional 15-minute discussion and question period.

When: Wednesday, May 5, 1:00 – 1:45 pm Mountain Time.

Where: Zoom. To join the announcement list and receive the Zoom link, please send your name, phone number (so we know you are not a bot), and email address to MindfulnessTree@icloud.com      Be sure to add this email to your address book so the announcements don’t go to spam.

Resources: Body Scan

Intro: the Merit of our Practice (14:37)

guided Meditation: Body Scan (17:34)

For a 30-minute body scan led by Jon Kabat-Zinn, click here.

For this week’s resources related to the merit of our practice, click here.

Several members of our community of practice are experiencing chronic pain, illness, anxiety, or insomnia. Mindfulness can be a great help, and today we revisited mindfulness of the body with a body scan meditation.

Jon Kabat-Zinn has been a pioneer in integrating mindfulness practices into mainstream medicine. Participants in the 8-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction workshop at his Stress Reduction Clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center in Worcester, Massachusetts begin with four weeks of body scan. He invites participants to enter each day’s practice with the new eyes of a child, as if they had never experienced their own bodies before. This is a welcome reminder to all of us, a lovely intention with which to greet each day.

If you are experiencing chronic pain, illness or emotional distress, Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction can be life changing. You can learn more about Jon Kabat Zinn and his work through his books and online resources. A good place to start is the book Full Catastrophe Living. You can find dozens of guided meditations and talks on YouTube by searching his name. You can find a link to a 30-minute body scan at the top of this page.

Resources: The Merit of Our Practice

Intro: the Merit of our Practice (14:37)

guided Meditation: Body Scan (17:34)

For resources related to mindfulness of the body and the body scan, click here.

“May we dedicate the merit of our practice to ourselves, to our families and friends, to all those we know and all those we don’t know, and to all beings everywhere, throughout space and time”

Yesterday I had a powerful reminder that we do not practice for ourselves alone. I witnessed May We Gather, a memorial service for Asian American Ancestors, held on the 49th day after the killings of eight women, including six Asian women, in spas near Atlanta, Georgia. The 49th day after death is an important transition in Buddhist tradition for both the departed soul and for those who survive it. The service memorialized not only the women killed in Atlanta, but all the victims of Asian-American hate crimes dating back to the first Chinese immigrants who arrived on our shores in the 1850s. And in memorializing Asian victims, all victims of hate everywhere are remembered.

The service was a powerful reminder to me of what is often referred to in the Buddhist tradition as the Merit of Our Practice: a reminder that we are, in fact, interconnected, and that transformation of society begins with internal transformation. Our practice is activism; it is revolutionary. In a time that the divisions in our country often leave me in despair, I found hope in the voices of the dozens of Buddhists priests and monastics who spoke, each one affirming the truth and power of the Buddha’s words 2600 years ago: Hate never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is an ancient and eternal law.”

There is power in ceremony and ritual, in the deep wisdom of ancient teachings, and in community. As noted in the overview of the ceremony, “When someone is hurting, we come together as community. We gather because our lives are inexorably interlinked. We do not suffer alone, nor do we heal alone. Only when we gather as a sangha (community), can we truly support each other’s freedom.” Hundreds of organizations and communities around the world stood in support of the ceremony, and close to 2000 people watched the livestream as it unfolded at the Higashi Honganji Buddhist Temple in Los Angeles, one of dozens of Asian Buddhists temples across the country that have been vandalized in recent incidents.

I found the ceremony powerful and healing, as well as an opportunity to stand in support of our Asian American neighbors and all marginalized people victimized by hatred and discrimination.  It also gave me hope in a more peaceful world made possible through nonviolence. If you have the chance to watch, I hope you find it as powerful as I did. You can learn more about the event here and witness the ceremony in the embed below or on YouTube here. The ceremony starts around the 21-minute mark.

 

Midweek Pause: Mindfulness of the Body

This week we will revisit mindfulness of the body as a way to work with pain, insomnia, anxiety and other discomforts.

What: 30 minute opening remarks and guided meditation, followed by an optional 15-minute discussion or exercise to help integrate this mindfulness practice into your day.

When: Wednesday, May 5, 1:00 – 1:45 pm Mountain Time.

Where: Zoom. To join the announcement list and receive the Zoom link, please send your name, phone number (so we know you are not a bot), and email address to MindfulnessTree@icloud.com      Be sure to add this email to your address book so the announcements don’t go to spam.

From e. e. cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and love and wings and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

• e e cummings

Resources for Meditation from Focus to Open Awareness


Intro: From Focus to Open Awareness (9:49)

Guided Meditation: From Focus to Open Awareness (19:34)

This week’s guided meditation moved between focused practice, based in the breath or other anchor, to open awareness practice, opening out into a field of awareness of all the senses, aware but not attaching to any one sensation. These two types of meditation, singly or together, are often at the core of what is referred to as “mindfulness meditation.” As we discussed in our time together, however, there are dozens of types of meditation, coming out of most of the wisdom traditions of the world, including Buddhist, Christian, Buddhist, Sufi, Hindu, Yoga, Tao, Qigong and so many more. You can view a list that provides a good but certainly not exhaustive overview here.

I mentioned a gatha or meditation poem from Thich Nhat Hahn that I find useful when I am having a particularly hard time settling my mind during a sitting meditation, or when I am walking and notice that I have gone down the rabbit hole of solving the world’s problems when I really want to be walking in awareness. You can find that gatha here.

Mike shared with us the book Refining the Breath: The Yogic Practice of Pranayama by Doug Keller, available on Keller’s website. And Nancy spoke about the 40-day practice period she had just completed with the yoga and meditation teacher Khushi Malhotra. We asked Nancy for more information and I will quote from her email: 

If you google that name, you will find a famous Indian actress…. Not the same person. You can find Khushi at her website, Khushyoga.com.  The class I took was the 40-day sadhana.  She also has a few podcast sessions at Athayoganusasanam.  If you are familiar with the yoga sutras of Patanjali, you will recognize that as the first yoga sutra, Atha Yog Anusasanam, meaning “Now begins the discipline of yoga”.

Khushi’s classes appeal to me because she illuminates the ancient yogic teachings with a gentle emphasis on the discipline called for in the teachings, tempered by an awareness of the reality of our current culture.  If you are curious, I would recommend listening to the podcasts.

Thanks to both Mike and Nancy for sharing these practices.