Back to Basics

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One of the ironies of life is that we are always in the present moment — but we may not be aware of it! This week we will go back to basics – something we can never do too often – cultivating awareness of the present moment and the vitality that is possible when we inhabit it.

What: 30 minute opening remarks and guided meditation, followed by an optional 15-minute discussion or exercise to help integrate this mindfulness practice into your day.

When: Wednesday, April 28, 1:00 – 1:45 pm Mountain Time.

Where: Zoom. To join the announcement list and receive the Zoom link, please send your name, phone number (so we know you are not a bot), and email address to MindfulnessTree@icloud.com      Be sure to add this email to your address book so the announcements don’t go to spam.

Resources for Practicing Lovingkindness toward a difficult person

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Intro to Practicing Lovingkindness toward a Difficult Person (15:05)

Guided Meditation on Practicing Lovingkindness Toward a Difficult Person (16:26)

You can read Thich Nhat Hahn’s poem “Call Me by My True Names” here.

Because I am so early in my own practice of lovingkindness toward a difficult person and find it so hard and complicated, I leant heavily on the work of Sharon Salzburg in our session today. Somehow I find it reassuring to learn that even after 40 years of continuous practice, she still struggles. As she wrote in her book Real Love, “I remember complaining to a friend about someone we both knew, and she said, ‘Haven’t you read your own book?’ Recognizing when our actions don’t match our aspirations can also be an act of love.”

I can’t recommend Real Love highly enough (and also Salzberg’s earlier book, Lovingkindness), and her chapters about practicing lovingkindness toward people who have hurt us or who we feel perpetrate injustice are particularly valuable. I hope you will attain one or the other of these books. Lovingkindness is a life’s work, and Salzberg’s writing can inspire you to integrate it into your life, even if only for a few moments each day. Further on, you will find the quotations from her writing that I shared today.

Many of the comments after today’s meditation revolved around the sense of futility we can feel practicing lovingkindness toward someone who seems unchangeable or who we feel is doing real damage in the world. It is important to remember that the transformation that matters most is inside oneself, and lovingkindness practice is first and foremost a way to support our own growing sense of agency and personal freedom. Civil rights warrior John Lewis has written extensively about this and you can find some relevant excerpts from his book Across that Bridge here.

Below are some excerpts from Sharon Salzburg’s Real Love Continue reading →

A poem of Lovingkindness from Thich Nhat Hahn

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Thich Nhat Hahn’s poem “Please Call Me by My True Names” is hard for many people because he suggests a sense of connection not only with those who suffer cruelty, but also with those who perpetrate it.

Thay has written about the genesis of that poem. Half of the refugees who fled South Vietnam in boats after the fall never made it to shore. Thich Nhat Hahn’s community at Plum Village in France received thousands of letters seeking help from people who made it to refugee camps. One day, they received a letter telling about a young girl on a small boat who was raped by a Thai pirate. Continue reading →

Lovingkindness Toward a Difficult Person

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Traditionally, lovingkindness is practiced in concentric circles, starting with the self, moving out through our closest beloveds to neutral people or strangers, and then for people we have difficulty with or who may have hurt us. This last phase is, for most people, the most difficult. It can also be the most transformative.

What: 30 minute opening remarks and guided meditation, followed by an optional 15-minute discussion or exercise to help integrate this mindfulness practice into your day.

When: Wednesday, April 21, 1:00 – 1:45 pm Mountain Time.

Where: Zoom. To join the announcement list and receive the Zoom link, please send your name, phone number (so we know you are not a bot), and email address to MindfulnessTree@icloud.com      Be sure to add this email to your address book so the announcements don’t go to spam.

More Resources for LovingKindness

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Intro: Lovingkindness Continued (11:40)

Note: we had a quick checkin during the introductory remarks, and for your privacy I have cut out all voices but my own.

Guided Meditation (15:25)

There are now hundreds of studies from neuroscience and other fields of medical and psychological research that demonstrate the benefits of meditation. The practice of Lovingkindness has distinctive benefits, which you can read about here.

The research also shows, however, that the benefits accrue from regular practice, even if for only a few moments a day. So I will invite you this week to experiment with integrating a minute or two of lovingkindness into your day, tied to some particular moment or habitual action — perhaps as you wake up or drift off to sleep. Or you might set the intention that when you have an idle moment and reach for your phone, you will pause for a moment first and invoke a few phrases of metta for yourself, someone you know, or the stranger you see across the street.

Sharon Salzberg has made a delightful series of short videos on “Street Lovingkindness,” momentary practices when you are stuck in traffic or waiting in line. They are under two minutes each, and well worth your time. You can see them here.

The power of lovingkindness is experiential rather than intellectual, and so is perhaps best introduced through story. You can find the story of Sharon Salzberg’s first experience with the practice in last week’s resources. And below is an excerpt from Gil Fronsdal’s book A Monastery Within. Continue reading →

What the Scientists Say about Lovingkindness

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Over the past many years, scientists have been studying the neurological and physiological effects of meditation and other mindfulness practices. This article from Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health summarizes some of the recent studies that focus on the benefits of lovingkindness practice in particular. Read the article for more nuance (and you can find a somewhat more academic article with more extensive citations here) but a quick summary of these benefits includes:

  • Reduces the stress response
  • Reduces inflammation
  • Builds personal resources:  cognitive, emotional and physical resiliency
  • Increases the experience of positive emotions, including love, joy, gratitude, contentment, hope, pride, interest, amusement, and awe
  • Changes the brain in positive ways, most especially the insula and the temporal parietal juncture (TPJ) areas associated with empathy and the ability to attune to others.
  • Increases a sense of social connectedness, even with strangers.

For these benefits to occur, it is important to practice at least a few minutes of lovingkindness a day. It’s not enough to do so only once a week or so.

The good news is that lovingkindness practice is suited to even the smallest bits of time. Check out Sharon Salzberg’s videos on “Street Lovingkindness” here — each one is under two minutes in length, and well worth your time.

Kindness Continued…

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Last week we worked with kindness — specifically, loving kindness — toward the self. This week we will open that out to our loved ones and also to people we don’t know but interact with everyday.

What: 30 minute opening remarks and guided meditation, followed by an optional 15-minute discussion or exercise to help integrate this mindfulness practice into your day.

When: Wednesday, April 14, 1:00 – 1:45 pm Mountain Time.

Where: Zoom. To join the announcement list and receive the Zoom link, please send your name, phone number (so we know you are not a bot), and email address to MindfulnessTree@icloud.com      Be sure to add this email to your address book so the announcements don’t go to spam.

Resources for Lovingkindness toward the Self

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Intro to Lovingkindness for the Self

Guided Meditation: Lovingkindness for the Self

Metta in Poems and Laughter: This post includes a short and charming  video that introduces the basic practice of metta or loving kindness and also includes the poem “Love Does That” by Meister Eckhart which was part of this week’s guided  meditation.

I quoted the biblical scholar Ralph Davis on the meaning of the hebrew word heed, which is found in the Bible some thirty times and translated as Lovingkindness in the King James version: “hesed often has that flavor: it is not merely love, but loyal love; not merely kindness, but dependable kindness; not merely affection, but affection that has committed itself.” Ralph Davis, Focus on the Bible Commentaries Continue reading →

Cultivating Kindness

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The Dalai Lama says that kindness is his religion. “Love they neighbor as thyself” is the Great Commandment in the Bible. We all love to be treated with kindness, and we like ourselves when we act kindly. But sometimes it’s hard. This week we will look at ways that mindfulness can help us nurture our own kind hearts.

What: 30 minute opening remarks and guided meditation, followed by an optional 15-minute discussion or exercise to help integrate this mindfulness practice into your day.

When: Wednesday, April 7, 1:00 – 1:45 pm Mountain Time.

Where: Zoom. To join the announcement list and receive the Zoom link, please send your name, phone number (so we know you are not a bot), and email address to MindfulnessTree@icloud.com      Be sure to add this email to your address book so the announcements don’t go to spam.

Resources for Interbeing

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Intro to Interbeing

Guided Meditation on Interbeing

 

Video: Be Like Water, the film we watched in today’s Midweek Pause, featuring Cathy Winter, South African “Observational Experiential Dreamer.” Continue reading →