Intro to Practicing Lovingkindness toward a Difficult Person (15:05)
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Guided Meditation on Practicing Lovingkindness Toward a Difficult Person (16:26)
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You can read Thich Nhat Hahn’s poem “Call Me by My True Names” here.
Because I am so early in my own practice of lovingkindness toward a difficult person and find it so hard and complicated, I leant heavily on the work of Sharon Salzburg in our session today. Somehow I find it reassuring to learn that even after 40 years of continuous practice, she still struggles. As she wrote in her book Real Love, “I remember complaining to a friend about someone we both knew, and she said, ‘Haven’t you read your own book?’ Recognizing when our actions don’t match our aspirations can also be an act of love.”
I can’t recommend Real Love highly enough (and also Salzberg’s earlier book, Lovingkindness), and her chapters about practicing lovingkindness toward people who have hurt us or who we feel perpetrate injustice are particularly valuable. I hope you will attain one or the other of these books. Lovingkindness is a life’s work, and Salzberg’s writing can inspire you to integrate it into your life, even if only for a few moments each day. Further on, you will find the quotations from her writing that I shared today.
Many of the comments after today’s meditation revolved around the sense of futility we can feel practicing lovingkindness toward someone who seems unchangeable or who we feel is doing real damage in the world. It is important to remember that the transformation that matters most is inside oneself, and lovingkindness practice is first and foremost a way to support our own growing sense of agency and personal freedom. Civil rights warrior John Lewis has written extensively about this and you can find some relevant excerpts from his book Across that Bridge here.
Below are some excerpts from Sharon Salzburg’s Real Love Continue reading →